A letter to dad

Easy to walk away

Never looking bad 

5am every morning 

Work hard , loves strong 

Never gets what he deserve 

Away from his two children 

Father are fathers 

Dad why ? 

Teach me what you don't want me to be, but turn around and treat girls the same way 

you don't want me to get treated !

Dad why? 

Why you not with mommy anymore ? 

Was it all a fake ? 

How was your marriage with her 

Why I'm the last to know anything.

I have feelings too ! 

I'm ended up with guys like you ! 

I try to stray away but they keep coming and I am attracted to them 

I think one way and end another way

I love you dad

But why are you judgmental ? 

My current and future decision I never told 

I was afraid of you being bold 

You drinking your whole life damaged my life 

But now that we are both getting older I see a few changes 

Less lovers 

I misinterpret your ways 

I was blinded , I seen you through the eyes of the woman who nutured me 

Closed minded by heart through these eyes 

This feeling I can't explain but daddy I forgive you ! 

I forgive you for all the fights 

I apologize for blaming you for everything

Now I know who provoked it

Now I know all along who was right 

My nurturer plays the victim 

My nurturer made you look bad 

My nurturer wanted me all to herself 

But I can't get mad 

Dad you knew what you was getting into 

Why you felt as though I was too young to overstand

Knowing my ears were polluted by the words of my nurturer 

Your dad ain't shit 

Look what he have done to me 

See your dad always insulting people when he drinks

He doesn't know his limit 

He doesn't care about his family 

He choses his drinks over us 

Blah blah blah 

I listened it never digested until now. 

Reminiscing the past 

Observing it fast 

I seen a man working from morning to night 

Coming home to drink a cold beer 

I seen a man on his off days playing his music , playing his drums with smirn off with 

cranberry juice on the side 

I seen a man , raise his both daughters  together even though one was in jersey and he 

lived with one in Brooklyn 

I seen a man bring his daughters together every other weekend 

I seen a man educate his daughters 

I seen a man give his daughters the necessary critical thinking skills they needed! 

Who was born first the chicken or the egg ? 

     

Well the chicken was born from the egg and the egg was born from the chicken .. 

21 years later , 

My response is evolution ! 

The first look of adult I was given. 

First ring until that dial tone

"Bendiciones  mi hija , take care of my granddaughter and I love you my daughter" 

First ring until dial tone 

"Bendiciones Papi , I love you too" 

A promise he said while his offsprings were growing up 

"My daughters will grow up together and I will die knowing that they will always love 

Eachother" 

A promise that was never broken 

Dad always talked about death 

The people he most loved died young 

He always felt he was next 

High blood pressure , diabetes 

Taking Atleast 12 pills 

Never stress with bills 

Loving someone killed

His suicide was drinking alcohol 

A trip to foreign country , made him realize how much he was appreciated ! 

Heart filled with happiness ! Arguments from left to right but I never failed to say " I 

love you dad !" 

My big papa , the Don DaDa 

Mi Guerrero, my warrior ...

Papi ! 

Thank you for sheltering me !

And Thank you for being the best  dad !